Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Nfl Low Down Week #4
The NFL is reality TV, a soap opera, & a sport all combined in one. The NBA & MLB would do well to follow their blue print.
Week 1 Randy Moss speaks out about not feeling appreciated & wanting a new deal. Week 4 his ass is on the trading block for defying the one they call Bellicheck's rule of keeping shit in house. The "Ralph Tresvant" Sensitivity shit doesn't work well in the NFL, Randy. Next time try Oprah.
This off season Albert Haynesworth complains about his new role in the 3-4 scheme that Shannahan has installed. During training camp Haynesworth repeatedly fails the fitness workout & is forced to play with the walk ons & future insurance salesman while playing his way into shape. Regular season starts & his ass is still on the bench even though he makes millions of dollars & is one of the highest paid players in the league. Memo to Haynesworth: Shannahan don't give a fuck about how much your black ass makes or what system you want to play in. Don't fuck with the one they call Shannahan.
Week 4 Monday Night Football down in South beach....The Pats & Dolphins are battling for the right to finish in second place to the Jets. Then the unthinkable occurs in the second half. The Pats block a punt for a touchdown, block a field goal for a touchdown & return a kickoff 103 yds....for a touchdown. The end result, the one they call Parcells fired his special team coach quicker than the time Jay Cutler had to pass in the pocket against the Giants!
Preseason Matt Leinart plays like the starting QB job is his...so he doesn't go all out. The one they call Whisenhut sees this, decides in NINO BROWN style that he never liked that pretty USC mutherfucker anyway & cuts his ass before the seasons starts.
All of these scenarios occurred because in the NFL, unless you are a Franchise QB (sorry Donavan) your number could be up at anytime. Every week you better play hard, keep your mouth shut, stay injury free, never age, don't embarrass the organization & last but not least.....don't engage in a war of words or bad mouth the name of your headcoach. Imagine coaching James, Mello, or that underachieving buffoon Eddie Curry & being able to tell them shut the fuck up or get with my program. Imagine a world in the NBA where players had to perform or risk getting cut. Imagine players giving their all & listening to their head coach insatead of plotting how they are going to get them fired. Remember when mild mannered Robert Horry threw a towell in the face of Danny Ainge when he was coaching in Phoenix? Let Randle El attempt that same shit with Omarr Epps AKA Mike Tomlin. After they remove his size 10 from Randle El's ass, Tomnlin might be seen doing time in prison for assault charges. The NFL may not be perfect, but as far as discipline & doses of reality are concerned....it is the best thing going today. Now on to the LOWDOWN.
UPON FURTHER REVIEW:
* Whoever said that this was the new era of offensive football didn't have that talk with the Giants Sunday Night. The Bears went through three QB'S & were in danger of asking Jim McMahon or Vince Evans to make a return. I don't know what Cutler did to Lovie Smith's daughter, but letting that man take that beating was unnecessary.
* LT maybe the exception to the rule as it relates to RB'S breaking down once they reach 30. I for one thought he was done but he is showing what hard work, motivation, and tapes of the (EMMITT SMITH ) can do for you.
* The Steelers "no one man is above the crew" philosphy works & has them 3-1 playing with a 4th string QB.
* Kevin Korn on the Kolb still sucks. That thing that Philly wide receivers are still waiting for you to do is called "the forward pass".
* If the Vikes get Moss they still won't win. I'm just convinced that T.O., MOSS, & CHAD JOHNSON are prima donas more concerned with how they look & less about the teams that they play for.
* The Falcons & Packers still don't do it for me. They are like Jada Pinkett. She is good looking, but she is still missing something that is keeping her from being fine like a Beyonce or Halle Berry.
* Raven fans need to stop celebrating like that fucking win Sunday was monumental. Your last 3 wins against the Steelers have come against QB's not named Big Ben. Do that shit in January & I will be impressed.
* Bellicheck is smarter than even the press gives him credit for. Getting rid of Moss & any other veteran with an axe to grind gives him complete power of his football team. It also allows Brady to throw to whoever is open without fear of having to keep Mr Sensitivity happy.
* The Colts could be in trouble. They are the only team in sports who's QB is praised & not blamed when he throws for 400 yds and they lose.
* I'm glad that buffoon team of mines (the DALLAS COWBOYS) had their bye week early. That way they have plenty of time to come up with a new comedy routine for any upcoming losses.
* Discipline is only a good thing when positive results & new behaviors are developed. Other than that, just ask Penny from Goodtimes and she will tell you that pretty soon it becomes abuse. Mike Singletary better get some results quick!!!
HIGH FIVE:
1) STEELERS 3-1 LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT BIG BEN IS BACK
2) RAVENS 3-1 NOW THEY NEED TO FIGURE OUT THE BENGALS
3) JETS 3-1 SANCHEZ LOOKS GOOD
4) SAINTS 3-1 WINNING UGLY
5) PATS 3-1 BRADY + BELLICHECK= WINS
BUFFOON OF THE WEEK:
My Buffoon of the week for the second straight week....Eddie Long. One of your boy toys said you used to send him pictures of yourself wearing Buff Bagwell spandex outfits, with Slick Rick kangols and white slouch socks. I wish I was making that shit up, but just look at the photo above. That is some Big Poppa Pump shit right there. Only Scott Steiner & Buff Bagwell can get away with wearing that in public. I was going to go at R & B singer Mario for allegedgly fucking up his mom to increase record sales, but I laid of his ass because of Eddie Long's love of the Bo & underarmourwear. It's bad enough that you got pictures of Raz B on your wall, but you also run around town late at night with your Mr. Perfect spandex singlet on? You will forever be enshrined in the Buffon Hall of Fame.
I'M OUT LIKE JAY CUTLER AND THAT CHICAGO PASSING GAME
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